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 Barbie(blonde)jokes
by a stranger november 2013
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unclassified
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November 2013
a stranger
please if u copy please turn blonde into barbie pls thnx!
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November 2013
a stranger
Q: Why does barbie wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
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November 2013
a stranger
Q: How do you get barbie to marry you? A: Tell her she's pregnant.
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November 2013
a stranger
Barbie calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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November 2013
a stranger
a stranger
Barbie calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Barbie says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
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November 2013
a stranger
Barbie and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? barbie, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches barbie's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" barbie doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes barbie and hands her $500.00.
barbie says, "Thank you," puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes barbie and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word,barbie reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
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November 2013
a stranger
There was a magic mirror and if you lied to it you disappeared.
A redhead went up to it and said, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world," and she disappeared.
Then a brunette went up to it and said, "I think I'm the smartest girl in the world," and she disappeared.
Finally barbie went up to it and said, "I think..." and disappeared.
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November 2013
a stranger
During a recent password audit, it was found that barbie was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoo fy
When asked why such a big password, she said that it had to be at least 8 characters long.
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November 2013
a stranger
barbie, brunette and a redhead were tried and found guilty for murder. Their punishment was to be lined up and shot as a form of execution. The plan was to shoot the brunette first, followed by the redhead and then barbie. With all the guns pointed at the burnette, the commander said, "Ready, aim..." but the burnette shouted, "Tornado!" and every one freaked and the burnette escaped. When it was the redhead's turn to be shot the commander again said, "Ready, aim..." and this time the Redhead said, "Hurricane!" Every one freaked out again and the redhead escaped. At last it was time for barbie to die so the commander gave the command again, 'Ready, aim..." and the clever little barbie shouted, "fire!"
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November 2013
a stranger
A man seated next to a beautiful barbie on a flight from L.A. to S.F. looked over to see her seemingly in a state of shock from the headline in the newspaper she was holding...
The headline read:
"12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed in Riots."
She turned toward him and with trembling voice asked:
"How many is a brazilian?"
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November 2013
a stranger
There were three barbies who were trapped in a huge dark room that contains only one door. A loud voice coming from the roof said "There is no electricity in this house, no lamps, nothing. You have to go through that door or die. The door read the word caution and one barbie said you cant make me go through this door!! Then she got torn apart by two chainsaws and without question the barbies went through the door
Now there was a green door and a red door, and they both went in the red door.
Then there was a black door, a blue door, and a pink door, they went through the black door.
Then there was a steel door and a wooden door, they both went into the steel door.
Then a small door and a large door, they went through the small door.
Now they were in a huge room containing a rope, a sharp knife, and an electric chair. The voice coming from the roof said, "How do you want to die, with an electric chair, a rope, or a sharp knife?"
One of the barbies said "I want to die with a knife!"
The other one said, "I want to be killed with the rope!"
A few moments later, after the barbies were dead, the voice said to himself, "I did tell them there was no electricity in the house, didn't I?"
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November 2013
a stranger
barbie comes running home after her kindergarten class at school and runs to her mom. "Mommy, mommy, today in school we counted to 10 and I could count all the way to 20! Is that because I'm the smartest, mommy?" "Yes dear," the mother replies, "its because you're smartest.
The next day she runs to her mom again. "Mommy, today in class I got the most gold stars! Is that because I'm the nicest, mommy?" "Yes honey, it's because you're the nicest."
After the third day, the girl finds her mom in the kitchen. "Mommy! Guess what! Today in gym class we measured how tall we are and I was tallest! Is that because I'm the best, mommy?" Her mother smiles. "No dear, it's because you're 24."
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November 2013
a stranger
There was a typical barbie. She had long, blond hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blond jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over.
"That's a nice flock of sheep," she said.
"Why thank you," said the herder.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.
"Okay," replied the herder.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" asked the woman.
"Sure," said the sheep herder.
So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382."
"Wow," said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you."
"What is it?" queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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November 2013
a stranger
A barbie from California decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but
she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . the Supermarket manager sees her and shuts the horse off.
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November 2013
a stranger
A mountain-climbing accident gone wrong, a brunette and two barbies were dangling by a rope off a cliff, holding on for dear life. The rope, which wasn't strong enough to hold all three of the women's weights was beginning to unravel and break.
"Someone needs to let go!" said one of the barbies, gesturing her head to the ground 200 meters below.
"Well, I ain't doin' it," said the other barbie.
"I'm not either," said the first.
The brunette cleared her throat and spoke with much conviction: "For your two lives, I will spare my own, for the life of you two women is worth more than my own. Please, tell my husband that I love him so much, and my two little boys that I will miss them dearly. Tell my friends that I will be with them always, and that I will watch over everyone from above and make sure they they follow the right path in life."
The two barbies, with tears in their eyes, applauded the speech and let go of the rope.
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November 2013
a stranger
Two barbies had locked themselves out of their car and were attempting to break in with a clothes hanger. One says to the other "We'd better hurry up...it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down!"
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November 2013
a stranger
barbie sinning the abc's: ABC.....UMMM....CAN I SKIP THIS?
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November 2013
a stranger
lol
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November 2013
a stranger
This isnt insulting at al......... XD.
I am a blonde but who cares
Barbie was walking along "Hi im barbie:
"Lets go for a drive"
WHAT KIND OF WEATHER IS THIS?"
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November 2013
a stranger
smiley/triste.pngWARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten years old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital, so the government decided that the best idea was to get rid of her, so they set up a special room to kill her as humanely as possible but it went wrong, the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a Monday night at 12:00a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. Apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes u will have the best day of ur life tomorrow
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November 2013
a stranger
PLEASE DON'T DO THAT!
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November 2013
a stranger
Barbie goes into a store and buys a red dress, a yellow dress, and a faux fur dress, she tries each dress on but she tries the faux fur one on last. she buys the red and the yellow dress, but then she calls the cops on the store and claimed "THERE ARE CRAZY ANIMAL POACHERS HERE!" (she thinks the faux fur dress is real animal skin)
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November 2013
a stranger
Ken says to his friend "If barbie is SOOOO popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?"
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306nd
780 points
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November 2013
I am blonde, and yes, even if you change this, I find this VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY OFFENSIVE
So... because of something I can't change, you're better then I am?
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114nd
1 556 points
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November 2013
account deleted
a stranger
smiley/triste.pngWARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten years old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital, so the government decided that the best idea was to get rid of her, so they set up a special room to kill her as humanely as possible but it went wrong, the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a Monday night at 12:00a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. Apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes u will have the best day of ur life tomorrow
DONT DO THAT! ITS SO ANNOYING UGH!
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November 2013
a stranger
ima blonde and to mme and my little sisterits really offensive
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November 2013
a stranger
that you guys are saying this
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November 2013
a stranger
Blondes aren't dumb they are unique.They are energetic but can be ditzy.But it doesn't mean they are dumb.
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Today, at 2:54am
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